


Like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc or Aphrodite

by notdenisa



Series: take me to your river [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, M/M, Unresolved Emotional Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-31 06:29:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19420375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notdenisa/pseuds/notdenisa
Summary: Hatake Kakashi walks into a bar.or, post-war, Kakashi and Sasuke have sex. There are feelings.





	Like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc or Aphrodite

**Author's Note:**

> very important notes:
> 
> 1\. they all look the way they do in Shippuden, because Sasuke's bangs is iconic  
> 2\. i do not remember the exact events at the end of Shippuden, so if it did not happen the way it does in this fic, let's call it an AU okay?
> 
> a huge thank you to my beta notlena. love u girl.

Kakashi has never claimed to be a good person, not even a particularly nice one. He's always been very good at killing people, yes, but he is not a good person in the general sense of the word. During war, though, people tend to think those two things seem to go hand in hand, especially if one kills for the right side and keeps killing the right people.

So, they win, Sasuke comes home and Kakashi puts on the goddamn hat. And that's alright, maybe, probably, because those who rule are hardly ever good people anyways. 

Before Kakashi gets the hat though, Sasuke is put in prison, and, well. That lasts for about a week or so, because Naruto pleads and begs and threatens, and one does not say no to someone who has just saved the world. Kakashi has an inkling that the lion’s share of the saving the world part was more for the sake of actually having the world Naruto could live in with Sasuke, now that he finally got him back, but who is he to judge, really. He would tear this world apart piece by bloody piece if it gave him even a shred of a chance to have his precious people back.

So he governs, and it's _fine,_ gives him something to do, something to keep his mind occupied. But paperwork is still paperwork and Kakashi is still Kakashi and some nights the persistent demons in his head don’t let themselves be distracted by bureaucracy. The only course of action on such nights is to drink himself under the table. So, he goes to a bar.

He's on his fourth shot of sake when someone sits in the stool on his left. “I would've thought the Hokage would not lower himself to drinking amongst the commoners,” Sasuke says, tone dry but amused. 

Kakashi rolls his eyes and snorts, “Maa, I'm off the clock, kid.”

“Care to share with your former student, then?” The Uchiha raises his eyebrows, pointing at the empty sake glasses with his chin.

“Are you even eighteen?”

“Nope.” And, well, the irony of drafting literal children into the military but still having legal drinking age laws is not lost on Kakashi, so he waves at the waiter and orders more shots.

They drink in silence but it’s nice, in a way. Kakashi tries not to dwell too much on the fact that a seventeen-year-old might just be the best drinking companion he's had in a long time. He can't help stealing glances though, because, while he never actually looked at the boy that way, he can admit that Sasuke is easy on the eyes even when Kakashi is sober, with a clear mind and in broad daylight. Now, ten shots deep into the night, with the dim light of the bar, the boy is disturbingly pretty, and Kakashi has always been a sucker for pretty.

“How's Naruto?” He asks, and Sasuke rolls his eyes, says “Naruto is Naruto,” and waves the waiter down, asks for more shots. “You are paying for those, by the way. I still don't have access to any of the Uchiha money.”

“Oh,” Kakashi says, and well, that's one more thing to add to his neverending to-do list.

“Yeah, oh,” Sasuke turns to look at him. Kakashi's mask is down, pooling around his neck because it's not like he can drink with the damn thing on, and besides, who gives a shit anyways. “Huh, I always assumed you were just horribly disfigured under that thing.”

“Maa, so sorry to disappoint.” 

Sasuke raises his eyebrows and says, keeping his eyes on Kakashi's, “Nobody said anything about being disappointed.” 

Kakashi thinks, _oh,_ and breaks the eye contact. _Well, shit._ He doesn't say anything, afraid of what might come out of his mouth, chooses to down his remaining shot instead and stands up, swaying only a little. 

“Leaving so soon?” Sasuke drawls but stands up as well. There's a smirk on his face and if there's anything Kakashi has learned during his life, is that this expression on the face of an Uchiha never bodes well for the one on its receiving end.

“Early start tomorrow, Hokage and all.” He shrugs, makes his way to the bar to pay, brushing his shoulder against Sasuke’s on his way there.

By the time he makes his way out, Sasuke is outside, leaning against the wall. Kakashi turns to him, raising his eyebrows in a silent question. “Is it not my duty as a fully reformed Konoha citizen to make sure my Hokage gets home safely?” Sasuke asks, that unnerving smirk still on his face, and blinks at Kakashi. 

“Maa, Sasuke-kun, how very considerate.” He should end this right here, he knows, but he’s drunk and legitimately curious at how this will play out, even if it is a spectacularly bad idea. Kakashi has made his fair share of mistakes, and this one, he considers, probably won’t even make it to the top five.

They start the slow trek to the Hokage residence and Kakashi lets himself look, properly this time. There is a flush to Sasuke’s cheeks, visible even in the dim street light and the ends of his bangs cling to his forehead with sweat. There is a slight sway to the boy’s steps and Kakashi is once again reminded of the amount of sake currently swimming in their systems. His eyes catch on the sharp collarbones visible from where Sasuke’s shirt is open and he makes himself look away, clenching his fists. He hears Sasuke snort loudly and sighs, but trudges ahead, the Hokage mansion visible at the end of the street.

By the time they get to the gate, Kakashi has an excuse ready, opens his mouth to speak, but Sasuke beats him to it, says, “Let me walk you to your room, Hokage-sama. I won’t be able to sleep, not knowing if you are safe.” There’s clear mockery in his voice and Kakashi closes his eyes for a moment, counts to ten in his head and shoots a glance at the ANBU posted on both sides of the gate. “Right,” He says, and walks inside. With every step he tries to harden his resolve to turn the boy away. He makes himself think about Naruto, about the way he looks at the Uchiha, so obviously in love. He thinks about Itachi, about Shisui, about _Mikoto_ and by the time they have stopped, and he has his hand on the handle of his bedroom door, he says, “Goodnight, Sasuke-kun.” and turns around, opens the door, and freezes, when the Uchiha says, his voice loud and mocking, “If this will make it any easier for you, old man, my birthday is tomorrow.” 

And, well, Kakashi has never claimed to be a good person. He spins around and takes two steps, grabs Sasuke’s face with one hand, pushes his mask down with the other and kisses him. It’s painfully awkward because Sasuke is shorter than him and they’re both drunk but it’s also really fucking good, the way kisses are only when you are drunk. Sasuke grunts into the kiss, pushes his hand into Kakashi’s hair, pulls Kakashi even closer. They stumble into the door frame, Sasuke’s back pressed against it, and that can’t be comfortable. Kakashi thinks wildly and tries to navigate them both into his bed. It’s never easy, to walk while kissing, and they end up with Sasuke pressed against Kakashi’s dresser. 

Kakashi looks around wildly, realizes the bed is nowhere near them, sitting innocently in the same corner of the room it always has, and his brain might be short-circuiting because in the heat of the moment he grabs the backs of Sasuke’s thighs and hoists him up onto the dresser, and, Sage save him, the Uchiha just _lets him,_ wraps his ankles behind Kakashi’s back to keep him firmly between his spread thighs. Kakashi can’t help it, he moans into the kiss at the feeling of their groins pressed together. Sasuke answers with a grunt, and tugs on Kakashi’s hair. The sharp pain sends sparks of pleasure down Kakashi’s back and he thinks _Fuck,_ asks, “Have you ever done this before?” and starts pressing open-mouthed kisses to Sasuke’s throat. The Uchiha lets out a curse that turns into a sharp moan that Kakashi _really_ wants to hear again and snaps back, breathless, “Do you really want to know the answer to this question?” and, fair enough, because now that he thinks about it, he really doesn’t want to know.

They do end up on the bed, somehow. Kakashi on top of Sasuke, both of their shirts gone. He leans down, scrapes his teeth against Sasuke’s neck and Sasuke lets out a soft moan, arches his back to get closer and- Kakashi freezes, looks around and swallows. A voice in his head, painfully similar to Obito’s says, _What the fuck are you doing, Hatake?_ He does his best to shift so that they are touching as little as possible, but when he finally looks at Sasuke, the younger just looks bemused and maybe just really done with Kakashi’s shit. “Don’t you fucking dare,” he says, and with a sharp tug pulls the man down on top of him. “Alright. Alright,” Kakashi mutters and reorients himself. Looks down at Sasuke, brushes the bangs away from his forehead and asks, “How do you want to do this?” because he really doesn’t care, would do about anything the boy wanted him to do at the moment, and when Sasuke rasps, “Just fuck me already,” Kakashi does his best not to self combust. 

When he wakes up the next morning, it’s to a pounding in his head and a warm body pressed to his back. He cranes his neck a little and is rewarded with a sight of Sasuke, wrapped up in the blankets, snoring softly with his mouth slightly open. He tries to leave the bed but quickly realizes that Sasuke has managed not only to steal all the blankets to himself, but also somehow wrap himself around Kakashi like an octopus. Admitting defeat, Kakashi slumps back down and goes back to sleep.

The next time he wakes up, Sasuke is still asleep, but he has tucked himself into the corner of the bed. Kakashi has the time to get up, make himself a cup of coffee and when he gets back to the bedroom, Sasuke is awake, sitting on the bed and blinking slowly. 

“Yo,” Kakashi offers when Sasuke spots him, rises one hand awkwardly, doesn’t really know what to say.

“If you are wondering if you took advantage, you did not. I am perfectly capable of making my own decisions,” Sasuke says, looking at Kakashi, his eyebrows raised and tone mocking. And Kakashi hates how something inside his chest unlocks at those words. He doesn’t let it show, keeps his composure and says, “Alright,” instead. “Do you want some coffee?”

“No, I have to go. Promised Naruto I will help him with something,” Sasuke says, and there is nothing Kakashi can do but watch him put on his clothes and leave.

It becomes a thing, sort of. Sasuke starts showing up at his office, at his house, and before Kakashi realizes it, there is a side of his bed that he thinks of as _Sasuke’s._

It takes two weeks for Naruto to notice that something has changed, and a month for him to realize what’s happening. He doesn’t walk in on them having sex, instead, he jumps through the window of the Hokage’s office just in time to see Kakashi attempt to brush Sasuke’s hair out of his eyes and Sasuke swatting his hand away and rolling his eyes, but not moving away from where he's standing above a sitting Kakashi, propped against the desk, their knees almost touching. And that, that’s somehow worse, Kakashi realizes. He expects Naruto to yell, to call him a pervert, but instead, Naruto looks _hurt,_ glancing between the two of them, completely silent.

“Come on, dobe,” Sasuke says, after a long, mortifying silence. He steps away from Kakashi. He takes Naruto by the wrist, the blonde still looking at Kakashi, hurt and confused, “your brain’s gonna overheat if you keep thinking this loud. Let’s go get a drink.” and then they are gone.

Around midnight, Naruto stumbles drunkenly onto Kakashi’s balcony and mumbles, “If you hurt him, sensei, if you dare hurt him-” and then promptly throws up on Kakashi’s socks. Later, Kakashi decides, as he’s helping Naruto to the couch and the boy throws up on him again, it’s the least he deserves.

He doesn’t see Naruto for a week after that, and when he finally does, the boy seems hurt, but determined. It is awkward, for a bit, but they don’t mention this _thing_ Kakashi and Sasuke have, and Kakashi is stupidly grateful. Has no idea what he could possibly say to make this better. To somehow make Naruto understand that he didn’t go out of his way to seduce the boy Naruto has been in love with since he was a little kid, the boy Kakashi himself had lost all hope for, had decided it was better to let Sasuke die rather than to try to save him. There are no words that could possibly justify this, so Kakashi stays silent.

“Why me?” Kakashi asks once, his face hidden in Sasuke’s hair. They're laying in Kakashi's bed, drunk and tired, the soft summer breeze lazily swaying the curtains. 

Sasuke is quiet and Kakashi can feel the warm puffs of his breath on his collarbone. He's about to drop the subject when Sasuke says, quietly, almost as if talking to himself: “It's easy”. Kakashi could make a joke about playing hard to get, or play-act offended, but he's tired and drunk and he understands what it's like, needing at least _some_ things to just be easy. Especially if, up to this very point, you've had to fight tooth and nail for everything in your life. Kakashi might be an asshole, but he can’t make himself make a mockery of Sasuke’s admission. So, instead, he presses a soft kiss to his hairline and says, “Alright.” 

Sasuke starts spending most of his time with Naruto. They train, Kakashi knows. Sasuke is determined to not let the loss of his hand affect his fighting abilities, so he spends most of his days on the training grounds. Kakashi would help, but he’s still the Hokage and has to spend most of his days signing papers. And it might just be Kakashi’s guilt, but every time Naruto is in the room with him and Sasuke, and the Uchiha so much as puts his hand on Kakashi’s arm Kakashi wants to jump away, wants to disappear, to do anything not to see the split second of hurt that enters Naruto’s eyes every time, before he manages to hide it. 

So when one day Naruto enters Kakashi’s office, only to be greeted with Sasuke sitting crosslegged on the desk, Kakashi sitting behind it, holding Sasuke’s hand, the Uchiha playing with his fingers, he tries to take his hand away, but Sasuke grips it tightly and doesn’t let go. Kakashi shoots him a look that gets ignored. Sasuke turns around, smiles at Naruto and says, “Hey Usuratonkachi, we are kind of busy.”

Naruto goes beet red, says, voice high pitched, “Oh, I’m sorry, um, I’ll come back later,” and turns to leave, but Kakashi snatches his hand from Sasuke’s grip and says, coming to stand in front of the desk, “No, Naruto, stay. What did you have to discuss?”

But Naruto is already at the door, yells, “No, Sensei, it’s fine, I’ll see you around!” and disappears.

Kakashi turns to Sasuke, who’s still sitting cross-legged on the desk, and asks, voice tight, “What the hell was that?”

Sasuke furrows his eyebrows, confused, “What do you mean? We _were_ busy.”

“No, we were not. Is this about you wanting to make Naruto je-” Kakashi starts, doesn’t get to finish because Sasuke is suddenly right there, barely any space between them. Kakashi takes a step back, stares at the furious Uchiha before him.

“Can something, _anything,_ in my life, not be about other people?” Sasuke asks, his voice quiet and angry. “Am I not fucking allowed to do things simply because I want to? Do I always need to have a _fucking agenda_?” His voice rises, frustration overpowering the quiet fury, and Kakashi suddenly feels like an asshole. “I’m sorry,” he says, unsure of how to continue. 

“Good,” Sasuke nods, and there’s still an angry set to his jaw when he says, “I’ll see you tonight, Hokage-sama.” and before Kakashi has a chance to apologize once more, he turns and leaves, closing the door behind him quietly. 

Kakashi comes back home hours later. He enters the kitchen and Sasuke is there, sitting on the window sill, the window wide open. Kakashi stops in his tracks because Sasuke is wearing shorts and a large t-shirt. His hair is greasy, he has one leg tucked under himself, the other hanging down, bouncing slightly, balancing a sandal on his big toe. The light from the sunset creating an orange halo around him. He's drinking from a juice box. His forehead sweaty from the summer heat still present in the evening and- Kakashi has been attracted to people before, but never like this. Never with this aching, deep bottomless feeling that threatens to choke him. So he stops in his tracks and stares until Sasuke turns to him and says, “Hi,” tilting his head, amused, and always, _always_ seeming to know what Kakashi is thinking, “how was work?” He expected Sasuke to still be furious with him, not _this,_ whatever this is.

“Maa, boring, paperwork,” Kakashi replies, grateful for the distraction of the conversation. He focuses his eyes on Sasuke’s slim, bony ankle. It looks delicate, fragile, even, the muscles in his foot flexing slightly from where he’s still trying to balance the sandal. 

“Good to know that the safety of us mere civilians is such a bore to you, Hokage-sama,” there's laughter in his voice, and when Kakashi looks at him he sees that Sasuke's eyes are shining with amusement. He smiles, puts down the juice box and crooks a finger at Kakashi, beckoning him closer. Kakashi takes a few steps, stops right in front of Sasuke and shakes his head lightly, says, “you are not a civilian,” rests his hand on the back of Sasuke’s neck, thumb brushing the space under his ear, it’s warm and a bit damp with sweat. 

“Hn, on paper I am nothing more but a simple civilian boy, Hokage-sama,” he tilts his head up, hand hovering over Kakashi’s mask, eyebrows raised in a silent question.

Kakashi should stop him, should say _I’m sorry about today,_ should say, _I don’t understand you, what do you_ want _from me,_ should say, _I think we should stop doing this before I fall in love with you_ , but, at the end of the day Kakashi is still Kakashi, and his list of _should haves_ rivals in length his list of _shouldn’t haves_. So, he lets Sasuke pull down his mask and kiss him. 

He tries to push the _shoulds_ and _shouldn’ts_ from his mind when he lifts Sasuke up by his thighs and carries him to the bed. And, by the time Sasuke is on top of him, Kakashi buried deep inside him, he doesn’t remember a single entry on either of the lists.

Kakashi wakes up long before Sasuke. He's sprawled half on top of Kakashi like he always is when they sleep in the same bed. He's lazy and obnoxious with it, shifting and rearranging himself with no care for Kakashi's comfort, and Kakashi is- charmed. Sage damn him, he's screwed, so fucking screwed, and he can't even muster the energy to properly freak out about it this early in the morning. He fights the fond smile that has become his go-to reaction to almost anything Sasuke related when it’s just the two of them, and is rewarded with a face full of spiky hair for his efforts.

After a while, he manages to wriggle out from under the Uchiha enough to be able to look at him properly. Kakashi knows he should probably feel like a creep, watching Sasuke's sleeping form like that, but he can’t help it. Not when the moonlight spilling into the room through the open window makes Sasuke look just a little bit otherworldly. 

So, he watches, forces himself to remember this, forever. To make sure he remembers all of it, for when it is not his to see anymore. The way Sasuke’s chest raises with his slow breaths, the way his bangs fall into his eyes, the curve of his nose, his long eyelashes. Kakashi’s chest is tight with the need to touch, to do something, and, even though he knows he could, that he is _allowed,_ he stays still. He will touch when it is time for them both to get up, for now, though, for tonight, he watches.

**Author's Note:**

> if i were to continue this it would probably turn into a sns fic so,  
> i'm leaving it as is.
> 
> i do have like 5 pages of excerpts from writing this, so if anyone wants me to post mini fics in this verse, just let me know, i'll make it a series.


End file.
